Resident EvilER

My husband is a huge fan of zombie movies. I swear that I have read more zombie books and seen more zombie movies than I ever cared to see simply so I could share an interest with him. After having some pretty nasty nightmares, I decided that we would need to find a different interest.

I detest zombies. Can't stand them and I prefer to not watch anything with a zombie in it. I'm not sure why I feel this strongly but I think it has something to do with the whole flesh eating thing. Give me a zombie that doesn't devour flesh and hey, I'm cool with it. "Who cares if you are the walking dead, just eat vegetarian please."

Regardless of how I feel about zombies, whenever my husband brings in a new book, I'll usually read it. Sometimes the stories are very clever and the writers are very talented at crafting their genre. It makes for a fun (can't believe I used that word with an apocalyptic genre) read and I can usually cope with all the "mmm...brains" scenes that fill the books. Movies, not so much, thank you Hollywood and all your special effects.

Still, I watched the Resident Evil movies, and I am Legend, and Shaun of the Dead (very funny movie actually and I am a fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost now because of it.) So I have had my fill of zombie movies.

So where am I going with this. Okay, now I need to set the scene because, of course, there is a story behind all this rambling. I was flipping through the PVR guide (similar to tivo) and I noticed a movie called Doomsday. I mentioned off hand that there was a movie that I figured my husband would want to see. He came running into the living room (okay, he didn't really run but he scampered...hurried...shuffled like the undead into the living room).

"Yeah, I wanted to see that," he shuffles from one foot to the next before sitting on the arm of the couch (yes, I allow that awful habit and it's actually one of my preferred spots to perch).

I ignore him and continue to flip through the tv guide. Yep, nothing on...oh wait a minute...the sequel to Dirty Dancing is on. DH laughs before I can even say anything, "I can't believe they made a sequel to that movie...I guess I shouldn't be, lots of people liked it."

I grin, "I was a closet Dirty Dancing lover. I wouldn't let anyone know that I loved that movie and only watched it when no one was around."

This makes him laugh. Of all the things to be ashamed about but the thing is, I was a bit of a tomboy growing up and if I always felt that liking "girlie" things made me less of one.

Anyway, back to the story. After I cycled through all the stations, DH still sitting on his perch, waiting for me to give in, I finally say, "Do you want me to record it for you?"

Without missing a beat since we both knew what movie I was talking about he says, "Yeah sure, but it will probably suck."

"They all suck. I mean even Resident Evil-er sucked."

He shakes his head, "Resident Evil-er?"

"Yeah, the third one. It was called Resident Evil-er, wasn't it."

"No"

"Oh yeah, it wasn't," I pause deep in thought," You know, they should make a movie and call it Resident Evil-er. You could have the deep voice over guy say," I clear my throat and try to create a masculine voice-over-guy tone," You've seen Resident Evil, now prepare for the scare of your life with Resident Evil-ER."

At that, DH laughed at me (something he does a lot) and I lost my train of thought but I could totally (yeah, like totally) see a movie called Resident Evil-ER. You have to stress the errrrrr because those zombies aren't just evil in my movie, they are evilerrrrr.

Needless to say, DH will be watching another zombie type movie and I will be doing something else tonight. Maybe I will be working on my manuscript for Resident Evil-ER but probably not.

At least I got on here to post, although I am sure at this moment, you are probably wishing that I took another two months off.

Happy Zombie-ing!

Sirena Van Schaik

*Edited to say that as it turned out Doomsday did not have Zombies but did have cannibals and it was bad, bad, bad, bad.*